What Your Cocktail Choice Says About Your Urbanist Beliefs

Long Island Iced Tea: You think about setting fire to dumpsters to lower neighborhood demand.

Old Fashioned: You relate everything to Jane Jacobs’ books.

Mint Julep: Atlanta is your ideal city.

B-52 (or any shot): You want to bring back rent control.

Greyhound: You always opt for the bus, no matter how shitty it is.

Screwdriver: You’re too busy rushing from one public meeting to another to drink anything fancier.

Caipirinha: The fact that on your last visit to Rio you wound up three days later in Sao Paulo sans wallet and shoes in no way diminishes your appreciation for favelas.

Anything with Absinthe: You’ve been introduced to someone as a flaneur.

Red Bull and Vodka: You know that, according to Vision Zero statistics, you should have been killed nine times so far this year.

Martini: (Perfect) You’ve memorized an article by Andrew Alexander Price. (Dry) You mostly explore cities with Google Maps.

Pimm’s Cup: You support more housing, as long as it’s single-family.

Sex on the Beach: Not only was your bachelor party in Miami Beach; you’re actually holding your wedding there.

French 75: You think density can be achieved with a height limit of 7 stories everywhere.

Mimosa: You want to move to an “up-and-coming” neighborhood, but only once it’s got a decent brunch place.

Singapore Sling: You think every city would work so much better if it were run by a benevolent dictator.

Manhattan: You fantasize for the day when cities become less regulated again.

Matt Robare
Matthew M. Robare is a freelance journalist based in Boston.